


You Are Normal

by bringiton_stickit_pitchperfect



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Asexual Character, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3566738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringiton_stickit_pitchperfect/pseuds/bringiton_stickit_pitchperfect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perry tries to be normal and LaFontiane is there when she is decides she is okay that she isn't</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Normal

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually a dream I had because I eat sleep and breathe fuckin' Carmilla.

Lola Perry did not tell LaFontiane how uncomfortable she was. She had promised herself she wouldn't. Everything was going to well tonight to be ruined by her stupid un-normalness, she had decided to call it. They had taken her to the most fancy restaurant in Styria and treated her like a princess all evening. They had gotten the key to the astronomy tower from Carmilla and ate chocolate fondue for dessert while star- gazing. It was absolutely perfect. The least she could do was get through this one simple act for their sake. They deserved normal. Really, Perry, admitted, maybe it would be so bad. The average couple, according to the internet, has sex 2.5 times a week (she didn't know what the half meant). So if Tuesday now and two days from now was Friday. Friday was actually a really busy day for her so she pushed it back to Saturday. They would have sex again on Saturday! All she had to do was get through tonight, which she absolutely would.

Because when LaF kissed her, she felt like she was flying, like the world made sense. But when they lead her over to the bed things felt different. She wasn't not enjoying herself, per se, it just wasn't the most... Perry search for the word and came back with comfortable. 

Perry's body didn't respond to their touch the way LaFontaine's body did. At first Perry thought it was because maybe she didn't love them as much as they loved her. But that couldn't be true, because to Perry LaFontaine was the moon and the stars. She would never love another person like she loved them. Ever.

They were laying on the bed now and Perry was trying to focus on the kissing and they way she felt on the inside, emotionally, when LaF touched her. And then suddenly they stopped.

"You know we don't have to do this, right?" They asked in the most supportive and loving voice Perry had ever heard ever speak to her. "Don't feel like you have to do this for me. I would never pressure you into something you weren't comfortable with, Per."

Perry swallow hard and her heart broke. She was first and foremost upset with herself that her exterior was cracking. She needed to be more careful. Because the truth was, she was doing this for LaFontaine. Perry knew people had needs. She saw the way people on the bleachers looked at Danny during track practice. Boys and girls. Perry can't pretend LaFontiane doesn't look at her like that. 

But she is also doing it for herself. She is different and she hates. She just wants to be normal. Like everybody else. She wants to look at people like how other people do. She wants to like doing more than kissing. She doesn't want to be this way. So she is forcing herself to be like everyone else. 

Perry was forcing herself to be normal, even if it made her miserable because she would rather be miserable with LaFontaine than happy and alone. She would never ask LaF to stay with her, not with her affliction. 

"It's just nerves, sweetie, I promise." She lies through her teeth. She works even harder to conceal her discomfort and leans up to kiss LaF hard enough to make her forget the moment of weakness she accidentally showed. She touched them they way she thought they would want to be touched and they touched her too.

When Perry climaxed tears escaped her eyes. Not happy tears. She wishes they were happy tears. These were kind of tears that meant she didn't know if she could do that again, 2.5 times a week, even with the love of her life. These were tears of devastation. She cried because she knew eventually she would be alone. 

 

"Don't cry, my love." LaF says sweetly and looks her in the eyes like she is seeing her for the first time. Seeing Perry without her guard up, and then everything made sense to them. She was devastated that Perry didn't think she could talk to them, them of all people! And also they felt like a dick for not seeing it sooner. They wish they could take back last night if only to spare their one true love the sorrow of self- realization.

"I just want to be normal." Perry chokes out. She rolls over and sobs silently. 

LaFontiane does the only thing they can think of. They cuddle of her behind and more her curly locks away from her beautiful ear and whispers promises of forever into her ear until she falls asleep and then and only then does LaF close their eyes to rest. 

 

LaFontaine wakes up the next morning alone. And for one split second they are terrified. They shoot up out of bed like a fire alarm is going off in their mind. "Good morning, Sweetie." they hear behind them. And then and only then do they take in the sweet aroma of blue berry pancakes. Their favorite. 

"Per," They say slowly. "You okay, buddy?" Perry didn't respond. Not verbally anyway, but before LaF knew it there were plates full of their favorite food sitting on breakfast in bed type tray- Pancakes, scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese mixed in and... did she bake raisin bread to make her favorite kind of toast. LaF bite into the toast and it was in fact home- made with Peanut butter topping. "Did you make all this while I was sleeping?" LaF asked.

Perry kissed her on the cheek. "You look like an angel when you sleep." She said simply. 

LaFontaine swallowed her food, "You didn't answer my question..." They said slowly.

"I have never been happier." She answered, then walks back into the kitchen area. 

"Are you sure, because last night..." They say slowly, then Perry cuts them off.

"Last night you made me feel safe and happy and normal." She admits, "And if I live a million years I wont be able to repay you."

"Love, I didn't do it for payment. I don't ever want you to feel-"

Again Perry cut them off, shushing them, "It occurred to me this morning, that you knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. You made me feel like my affliction," She said it with slight disdain, because although LaF might be okay with her being this way, she, herself, still had some way to go. LaF tried to talk but Perry cut her off again. "was something we could get through... If you'll have me, still."

"Nothing on this Earth could me not want to see you every second of everyday, my beautiful neurotic sunflower."

Perry cleared her throat and sat up straight, "That's wonderful to hear, sweetie, truly," She shifted slightly, "However what also occurred to me was that perhaps why you knew so perfectly what to say was because you knew, in a sense, what I was going through."

"Sure.." LaF answered slowly, Perry was being intense and LaFontaine was a little wary.

"And it occurred to me, that you didn't have anyone cuddle up to you in the middle of the night and tell you everything was going to be okay and that they love you more than anything else in the entire universe." Perry sped up her talking, and tears form behind her eyes, "And I am so sorry sweetie, that I wasn't there for you. I'm so sorry that I didn't make you feel as special as you made me feel last night and everyday." the tears flowed freely from her eyes now. 

LaF chocked back their own tears. "Per, you have made me feel special every single day of my life since we were five years old." 

"Really?" 

"Really!"

They hugged each other and when they pulled away, Perry leaned in to kiss them. They pulled away, "I like kissing you." Perry admitted.

"Really?" LaF asked.

"Really!"

Then Laura bust through their dorm room door followed by a pouting Carmilla. The two separated quickly. "Not so funny when it's the other way around, is it, Ginger Twins." Carmilla snapped.

"Oh!" Laura shouted, "Shoot! I forgot you two went out on a date last night, how was it?" She was so happy of her two friends finally finding each other.

"Babe, giant fire breathing dragons loose in the quad sound familiar?" Carmilla cut off her girlfriend.

"Oh, yeah, we need your help killing giant fire breathing dragon in the quad!" 

Perry and LaFontaine quickly stood up and prepared to arm themselves before leaving the room. 

They hadn't got a chance to answer, but had they, they both would have agreed that is was the best night ever.

**Author's Note:**

> This is only my second one, so again I say, be gentle.
> 
> also, i don't edit, so sorry if it sounds like crap.
> 
> this is dedicated to the girl at work who let me leave early to finish writing it. :)


End file.
